fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
