Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
