Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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