and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
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I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
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I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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