Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
