You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
