Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
