I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you inspire me to be a worse person
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
