We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
