Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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