Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
