i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
