Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
