Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
