I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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