Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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