he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize