yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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