If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
