i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
