So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you told grandpa to call you daddy
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
