high people should be assigned attendants
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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