if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
