There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
