its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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