I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
