I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize