im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
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I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
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All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize