Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
