Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
