it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
