Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
