just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
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Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The ass gains better be worth it
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