"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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