Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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