No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
