Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
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You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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