Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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