Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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