Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
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neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
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You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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