would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
