real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
