I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
