I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize