don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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