He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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