Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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