A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
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It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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