i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
