They should really pass out barf bags in church
i came on her dog
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
