Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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