The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize