I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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