sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
