he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
